amendment 1 passed, really NC, reaalllyyy ?!

psychos, I always get the delusional psychos.

i know that this might sound strange,
but i can’t think of a better way to say that if i could find the words i’d tear them out of my throat and crush them into your eyes. so i wrote myself a list of things that i’ve been meaning to say. i forced them out of my head, but i can’t find your eyes.

i had what i thought was a good idea. i was thoroughly sick of myself; i was bored, angry and irritated with the person i had become. my early years had seemed quite promising, but when i realized exactly what that promise entailed, my enthusiasm for who i was died, as if introduced to a vacuum. my idea was to reach down my throat with my fingers, grab hold of my insides, and pull them out of my mouth.

” she seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon. you think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her, but everything you think you know is wrong. passion flows through her like a river of blood. she only looked away for a moment, and the mask slipped, and you fell. all your tomorrows start here. “

i would burn in hell to keep you safe.

i’m clear it was a miracle the way i wetted the rhythm. spiritual looking back at it, a lyrical exorcism.

disclaimer

— as a little girl my mother would always scold me “you’re so heavy handed, everything you touch breaks”( later on this would go on to translate “you fuck up everything” ) .. this still remains to be true. little did i know that statement would turn into a foreshadowing of how a sequence of events have ruined me. have you any idea how many hearts i’ve broken ? how many bridges i’ve burned ? how many souls i’ve stolen ? i’m a thief, an arsonist, and a grim reaper all at the same time. my intentions always start out pure but you must know i’m far too passionate of a person to ever take the easy route. i carry the burden of a disturbed mind, it’s the beginning of my demise. “te gusta la mala vida” she would also say to me. mother knows best, she was always right.